September 17, 2007

The Convocation Day- A short story set in a college

The college in which I embarked my journey to discover myself did not just merely give me my MBBS degree but paved a new beginning for yet another beautiful journey.

Today seated among the hundreds of student around me in the convocation day I can say that with a lot delight.Things were different sometime back when it was the last day of my college days. I was in my hostel room packing my bags. Abhishek and Shoibhik who were my roommates for the last five years were doing the same. Not quite literally but still Abhishek had to pack the cigarette butts, Shoibhik was busy adjusting the dozens of certificates he had won and I was staring at the love letters which I could never send to the person whom I used to call Sagarika.

Well I kept reading the letters for numerous times. Abhishek came and told me that had I even send those letter to her once then I wouldn’t have been pondering resentfully over it like this. At least I would have convinced myself of trying and giving a first and last shot at it. If not convinced, I was at least left confused over my state. Shoibhik added more to my frustration by saying that “Don’t be afraid to tell her about your feelings, if you do tell her she might break your heart and if you don’t then you might break her heart”. I replied instantly "So you are telling me to give the benefit of doubt to her".“Brother I don’t have the patience to continue this conversation with you but the bottom line is that if today you loose this opportunity then you have to prepare yourself for a transition from a looser to an enduring looser, need I say more”.I was clueless about what to do (well not really clueless).

Some reflex action made me jump out of my bed and I started dressing up. Shoibhik and Abhishek were completely stunned for a minute or so.Abhishek anxiously asked "what’s wrong with you? I guess you need a new starter for yourself". I replied, "well nothing is wrong with me, I am going to tell her my feelings today, I have to rush to the railway station now, her train is scheduled at 3 o clock." Abhishek and Shoibhik in chorus "all the best dude".I finally arrived at the Howrah railway station in Calcutta. I was busy searching for her. Finally I went to the board where the reservation list was put up. I found her name on the reservation list. I was waiting in the compartment but to my utter dismay I could not find even a trace of her.

Well she is the kind of person who left things for the last minute so my hopes were alive to meet her. Nothing better to do, I grabbed a cold drink and gulped down the entire aerated drink at one go. Then came a glorifying burp.The burp did come but she did not come. Hardly less than ten minutes were left for the train to leave for it’s destination. I thought she would miss the train and I would have all the time in the world to tell her my feelings.

Then came Sagarika running towards her compartment. She was holding suitcases in both her hands. I was too preoccupied or may be too absorbed at staring into her eyes without realizing that I should have helped her to carry her luggage inside the compartment. Then I realized that Abhishek’s suggestion of getting a new starter for myself was not that bad idea and I took the luggage from her hand. Sagarika said "It took a little time for you to invoke the gentleman inside you.""Well sorry for that, so you are leaving and it's time to say good bye." Sagarika did not say anything, she only gave a smile and she looked gorgeous as always. I was speechless, may be lost into the illusionary world where only both of us existed.

Then she said, "Well I am leaving and I have to leave. I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me and we have been the best of friends for the past five years, tomorrow we might be real good friends, after sometime we might miss each other then slowly we would loose contact with each other and finally we wouldn’t feel like talking to each other too but irrespective of what the future holds for us, all I know that you have touched my life in a very beautiful way. Thank you for all the things you have given me and above all thanks to God for blessing me with a friend like you.

I don’t remember how I felt then; I was not in my consciousness to feel anything. But the feeling was something very close to what I call 'pain'. Another thing that I remember was that my tear glands were at its work. I tried my best to not cry. The guard whistled and the train made that annoying sound that indicated that Sagarika was moving away from my life.I handed over the rasgullas (sweets) to her and waved my hand. Waving my hand at her was possibly the toughest thing to do at that point of time. I managed to smile and tell her "good bye Sagarika. I will miss you a lot." For the first time instead of staring at the rasgullas, she kept staring at me.

Within a span of few seconds only the last few bogies were visible (actually not quite visible as my tear glands were busy at it's work).Then I realized that today also I could not tell her what I wanted to tell her. Shoibhik's words crossed my mind and my transition from a looser to an enduring looser had begun. This was taking a toll on me. I turned around and saw Shoibhik and Abhishek standing.

I wept a lot that day on their shoulders. My emotional vulnerability was unplugged….

One year passed by since that day and the day was being celebrated as the convocation day. It felt great to be back in the college campus. When I entered the portals of my college it gave me a nostalgic feeling. Well everything was still the same in college but there was this vacuum inside me. It was difficult for me to recognize that unfamiliar vacuum.As I entered the hall I met all my friends and classmates (including Abhishek and Shoibhik). Had the regular conversation, shared some jokes but that unfamiliar vacuum was taking the life out of me.

The convocation ceremony had just begun and the chief guest came on stage to give his speech. There was pin drop silence then.But something broke that silence. It was Sagarika’s footsteps, again the last one to reach any place as usual, and probably the first and the last (love) for me too.She came and sat next to me filling not only the empty seat next to me but also the unfamiliar vacuum inside me.We then had our conversation where I portrayed that everything was going well and smooth in my life.

After receiving the degree we went outside for a brisk walk around the campus. Failing to bottle up my emotions, I finally told her what she meant to me. There was an uncomfortable silence, which surrounded me, and out of an impulse she said 'yes' to my proposal. Well I am not sure if that ‘yes’ was out of an impulse but that impulse has today brought Sagarika and me back to this college after 25 years for our daughter’s convocation day.Today my hair has turned a little grey and Sagarika has started getting her wrinkles.We are no more a pretty couple but my daughter says we are the most beautiful couple on earth if not the prettiest.This college blessed me with a degree, great friends (Abhishek and Shoibhik) and a lot more (Sagarika).
-Saikat Saha

Life at Madras Christian College

I feel happy most of the times and sad sometimes when I think of the golden period of my life at Madras Christian College.I feel happy because I was blessed with three beautiful years in MCC and I feel sad because I wanted to spend my entire life time that way and I couldn't. But one emotion which plays in my heart always is that of 'Nostalgia'.

When I look back to my years in MCC; a floodgate of memories start flowing from my heart and they merge into my soul reminding what a great teacher my college has been in my life.

I remember those days back in 2004 when I came to Chennai after my schooling from Delhi Public School R K Puram[One of the most respected schools of the country].I did have a great schooling.Every bit of my schooling was a learning experience with fond memories.But never did I imagine in my life that I would be transported so far away from New Delhi[Thanks to Dad for getting transferred to Chennai] where I did my entire schooling.

My first impression about the college on my first day itself was impressive. Primarily because of three reasons.Firstly, the huge size of the college which is approximately 365 acres of paradise filled with beautiful flora and fauna[ One can spot many deers in the campus], Secondly, the simplicity of the extremely talented students and highly qualified Professors.Thirdly of course, the rich history,culture,academics,India Today ranking,A+ accredition by NAAC etc.

But as I stepped out of the portals of my college after three years, it made me realize that It was the heart and the soul of the college which was much more bigger,simple yet much more truly special than the three above mentioned reasons which impressed me three years ago.

MCC has taught me much more than Bachelors in Business Administration.It has helped me to recognize myself.It has blessed me with great friends.It has given me incredible opportunities to prove myself and gain immense self confidence.And MCC has blessed me with the most wonderful memories of my life.

It feels good to close my eyes and think of those golden days.It strenghthens my belief in goodness,values,love,friendship,hardwork and above all God. As God is the one who blessed me with the 3 beautiful years in MCC.

In my last few days in MCC I recieved the following SMS from a very special friend of mine:
A place where sky is the limit.
A place where grass is always green.
A place where a boy is moulded into a gentleman.
A place where traditions are still kept alive.
A place where each stone has a story to tell
We call it Madras Christian College!!!
And who said paradise can't be found on earth?
Viva la MCC

All I know since then is that when I get a little too tired running in the marathon called 'Life'. I just look back towards my days in MCC. Trust me it does wonders.It helps me to run even faster and most importantly enjoy the marathon. But then I miss my teacher a lot.The teacher whom I call 'MCC'.
Miss those days in MCC.

Below is a link to a video done by some immensely talented students of MCC.This will surely bring you closer to what I have experienced in my college days.

The Mirage

Dead tired,brocken into pieces I enter the cocoon of hope....

As I close my eyes to illuminate my inner world with bright rays of hope; prayers come out from within my soul...

Prayers that silently calls you to merge into my mystical world....

The mystical world of solitude, which for years gave me enough reasons to despair and lament....

As I open my eyes; I see you.You and your eyes could not stop gazing at me....

Amazed by the fog of my remorse stricken look, You continue looking at me with your dazzling smile....

My soul gets a vibrant life at your beautiful look,Felt as if you read me like an open book....

My ambiguity rose to the summer mercury level; Wondering what's going in your heart....

To my utter dismay I realize that's the same old mirage which made a fool out of me....

Dad used to say 'History repeats itself' but I must tell you my once upon a time sweet heart that if this was a page of a history then you shall remain as the most treasured page of that history....

-Saikat Saha

September 10, 2007

The best poem I have ever read

Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there's some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.......

Poem lyrics of Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost.